Tuesday, November 6, 2007

I am BLIND...!

caressing the wind in my hand...standing on a sand dune...tiny grains forming and breaking faces around me.... i pick up different stones...mark my existence...i keep looking...reading faces and eyes...in search of a dream... a reality that dosent exist...a mirage that wont go away...too close to the truth yet surrounded by lies....running away from what might be destiny...standing face to face with life...yet ... i am blind

Monday, November 5, 2007

You know you grew up in Pakistan...When...!


> . Evenings on STN/NTM were the highlight of your day.

> . The Jetsons, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Captain Planet were dubbed in Urdu.

> . If you were lucky, you had a dish, and you'd watch Disney Hour dubbed in Hindi on Zee TV and write to the host Vishaal. And you never missed 'Hum Paanch' (Pa-Pa-Pa-PAANCH!) or Tu Tu Mein Mein either.


> . You played 'Kings' in school (the game where the first person to yell 'Kings' would try to step on someone's foot. Then that person would try to
step on someone else's foot and so forth).

> . Playground feminism took form in the shape of 'Queens' (essentially the same thing as 'Kings') and 'Kish,' that weird jumping game that involved
> two teams and a loop of elastic (usually made out of a few shalwars' worth of elastic tied together, snuck secretly because the mums would get sick of their daughters wasting a perfectly good roll of elastic.)


> . Guys only ever played cricket and football, depending on what world cup was going on at the time.

> . The only co-ed sport that was ever played was dodgeball (called Dodge the Ball) and girls were actually pretty good at it.


> . You played Dark Room, Tilo-Express, Oonch Neech, Chor-Sipahi and Chupan Chupai.


> . You decided conflicts not by rock-paper-scissors, but by Pugan-Pugaai, In Pin Safety Pin, or Akar-Bakar-Bambay-Bo.


> . 5 words: Assoo-Panjoo-Haar-Kabootar -Doli.


> . Anyone owning a real Barbie or Hot Wheels was a source of envy and admiration.

> . 'Bil Patori naasa chori aadhi mithi aadhi kori I'm sorry I'm sorry' means something to you. As do 'ZAAAAAYYYMEEENAAAA!!!' and 'Mein kon hoon,

> mein kya karoon, mein kiss ko khaaon' and 'Ulloo ulloo hello, ulloo ulloo hello.'

> . You wished you were Imran or Moattar from Ainak Waala Jin.

> . You had nightmares about Bil Patori and Haamoon Jadoogar.

> . You drank Frost juice with Super Crisp chips. And then when you were done, you'd chuck the juice box on the floor and jump on it to burst it.

> . 'Idiot,' 'Shut Up' or 'Badtameez' was your first cuss word.

> . There was never a line at the canteen. Instead everyone drove the canteen wala mad by screaming at the top of their lungs.


> . You were cool if you could finish a whole pack of Crunchies or Slanties without showing any signs of weakness, including drinking water afterwards.

> . You picked out only the chips from your mum's Nimco.

> . You remember RC Cola and how no one liked it.

> . It was taboo for guys to drink Mirinda/Fanta because it was a GIRL's drink.

> . You idolized Imran Khan even though he was retired when you were 2 or 3, and wiped your face with your Pepsi bottle or Frost juice because he did it in that ad.

> . Wasim Akram's 'mein cigarette nahi peeta' ad made half ur generation vow to never smoke (the other half just missed out on good stuff).

> . You had to ask 'Ma'am/Miss may I come in' before entering a class, and you had to stand up to answer questions during a lesson.

> . Cordless phones were the coolest things.

> . You went crazy when your dad bought his first ever mobile, and you wouldn't shut up about it to your friends.

> . You carried around a cordless phone in your bag/pocket pretending it was a mobile phone, because heck, they both looked the same back then didn't they?


> . You begged your parents for a walkman and then bought tapes of Junaid Jamshed, or if you were really cool, Junoon.

> . You went to a Junaid Jamshed concert in a PAF building or a Junoon concert in PC.

> . You remember Fakhr-e-Alam hosting the Top Ten on NTM and his 'Bhangra Rap' was always #1.


> . #2 was 'Jaadoo Ka Charagh' by Awaz and #3 was 'Dohlna' by Shehzad Roy.. #4 was 'Mann de Moaj' by Hadiqa Kayani, the only cool female-singer in Pakistani (and that was her only song for a long time, till she sang Dupatta Mera Malmal Ka.')


> . You were really sad when Awaz split up. And later you took sides between Haroon and Fakhir, and if you liked one you had to hate the other.

> . You remember waking up early in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays (back when they weren't weekends) before school to watch English cartoons on Star Plus (before it got taken over by the Indians).


> . You still hold a grudge against the Indianization of Star Plus after all those years.


> . You remember celebrating when they changed the weekends to Saturday and Sunday because it meant Friday was a half-day.

> . You remember crying because of it if you were older, since the schools would make you come on Saturday for a full day anyway.

> . You played Sega-Mega Drive, Atari and Super Nintendo.

> . You played Mario Brothers like there was no tomorrow.

> . You remember the Nintendo game where you had to shoot ducks with an actual gun-shaped joystick and thought it was the most amazing thing ever.

> . Your life was never the same again when your first Windows 95 was set up in your house.


> . You played Dave 1 and thought level three was the hardest thing in the world. Then you upgraded to Lion King (probably from a Power Games CD
bought out in the street).


> . You shafted Polka Ice Cream when Walls became popular. And yes, admit it, you used to wait for the Ice Cream wala in the afternoon and bought
Paddle Pops from him.

> . Walls wasn't as good as the Challi Walla (end there were rumors that people loved them so much because there was chars in the masala).


> . The boys watched Captain Majid (some daring girls did too) and the girls watched Jem (so did some guys, for that matter, and hid their interest under the pretext of making fun of their sisters).


> . Cartoon Network showed good stuff like Johnny Bravo and Johnny Quest before crap like Cow and Chicken ruined everything.


> . You had 'kutti' (pinkie finger) with your enemies and 'sulli' (index+middle finger) with your friends.


> . Our idols were either the guys from Alpha Bravo Charlie or the guys from Teen Bata Teen.


> . It's 'copy,' 'rubber,' and 'dustbin.' Or rather, 'duss-bin.' And 'desk' was once 'dex.'


> . Your childhood was over when they made you stop using pencils and start using fountain pens. And you always made a mess filling the ink.

> . You watched Small Wonder, even after it was dubbed in Hindi by Star Plus.


> . You wanted to be on the Crystal Maze, The Legends of the Hidden Temple and such game shows.

> . The coolest clapping games were 'Cham Cham Cham,' 'O Pillar,' 'Zig Zag Zoo.'

> . You were on the top of the food chain if you were made monitor (and you very easily abused the power too, by chucking chalk and dusters at
> people).


> . Sit/Stand, Murghi, and sitting in the bad-kid section was the usual punishment. And the good girls would sit with the bad boys in a vain attempt to civilize them.


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amazing how i can actually relate to most of these facts...life ... =)

Friday, November 2, 2007

Within the lines, a life unkown...!

a large center marked by thick dots all around..a boundary defined..finished by tiny two's on each thick one...balancing it so that it remains perfect and pretty...i try.., but human as i am i commit mistakes....i underestimate appearances...i knew appearances can be deceiving yet i fail myself again.... wandering off towards the thick dots..the forbidden area...i still do what i feel best..my muscles stiff and i am tired...but i keep trying... the pain always brings relief.... the cracks have started to appear....the edges are dry and coarse..damaging the boundary that holds within, the residue that can still creep out and cause trouble...the center..still untouched and unsettled ...but its trapped now... nowhere to go...it will just dry out with time....leaving the color that will mark destiny... or so it is believed ...with every passing minute, i look closely and all i see is a new crack...prints of the lines on my hand...that hide within my future ...how things, even tiny dots start to symbolize with something as vast as life itself.. a simple pattern of henna and the story it told ...

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Let me try...!

let me turn a leaf... let me just try....let me touch the forbidden ...but my feet deny....
reaching out for a difference... reaching deep within... reaching for a life...but its hard...
my heart deceives me...it steps onto forbidden territory... i am pulling it back ...trying ..