Phase...!

i am falling apart... i am loosing my composure... faith is what i am holding on to... rest is all bleak... i don't want help, i am not looking for solutions. this is a sweet revenge with myself, this pain is addictive, the tears comfort me... they take out all the hatred within me... i feel my head is going to explode, my brain has dried out, i want to sit in vacum and not see anything, i want silence, i need silence... i need to listen to my inner voice, we have to sort out things, me and my inner self.. i don't know if its love that's torturing me or is it that i cant hate the way i want to... i am drifting away... from my family, from my friends... from all who matter... nothing really matters anymore... i don't know what i am supposed to do... or i do but i don't know why i aint doing it... maybe its just a phase... it sure is a long one...